


To Each His Own (Now Leave Me Alone!)

by Rizobact



Series: Curb Finds [15]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: And has no taste, Challenge Response, Crack, Gen, Skywarp is a pest, TC needs a better beta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-24 14:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6156421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizobact/pseuds/Rizobact
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skywarp loves deliberately bad fanfiction; the more egregious its sins, the better. Aspiring author Thundercracker isn't so fond of the genre...or of being accused of writing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Each His Own (Now Leave Me Alone!)

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for a challenge in my writing group to write about a character reading and enjoying something you (the author) wouldn't write for some reason - don't like it, don't have a talent for it, whatever. I personally enjoy a good, well-written, intelligent parody, but not things that are written badly on purpose (bad grammar, spelling errors, notes mid-paragraph, etc.) for comedic effect. Skywarp would probably eat something like that up though, and given TC's recent forays into writing screenplays in the comics, the pair seemed like a perfect fit.

[Psst. TC. Hey, TC!] Skywarp sent over their shared comms. [You got a minute? I just found a good one!]  
  
[Not now, Skywarp. I’m busy,] came the reply.  
  
[Aww, you can’t be too busy for this,] he insisted, looking down at the datapad he’d just finished reading and bursting into giggles again. [It’s _really_ funny.]  
  
This time there was no answer, but a flare of irritation across their trine bond made it clear that Thundercracker thought that yes, he was too busy, and would Skywarp please stop wasting his time? Skywarp’s laughter stopped, though his smile didn’t disappear. If anything, it took on a determined, almost viciously gleeful edge. Jumping to his feet with datapad firmly in hand, Skywarp cued up the familiar coordinates of Thundercracker’s office and teleported.  
  
*VOP!*  
  
“No, I mean it, it’s one of the funniest ones I’ve found yet!” He was talking almost before he’d finished materializing. Stumbling over a stray crate of spare parts on the floor – “Who keeps leaving these lying around? Someone should put them away!” – he came up behind Thundercracker where he was sitting at his desk. “C’mon, whatever you’re doing, I’m sure it’s boring. Take a break and read this!” He thrust the datapad in front of the other seeker, obscuring the datapad that Thundercracker had been looking at.  
  
“What the – Skywarp!” Thundercracker exclaimed in surprise, then groaned. “It’s another one of those fanfics, isn’t it? I told you, I don’t like them,” he said, sounding weary and resigned. “Not the kind you like, anyway.”  
  
Skywarp’s smile didn’t falter. “That’s just because you aren’t giving them a fair chance!” He waggled the datapad in Thundercracker’s face. “Please? You’ll like this one! It’s _hilarious_ , the whole first chapter is nothing but–”  
  
“–nothing but grammatical errors and poorly executed cultural references I don’t have the context for, interspersed with in-jokes and author’s notes in the middle of a barely coherent narrative,” Thundercracker cut in, now sounding frustrated. “I don’t like deliberately bad writing, Skywarp.”  
  
“Bad writing? Ouch!” Skywarp pouted, feigning injury. “How dare you insult it like that! This fanfic isn’t BAD, it’s completely HORRIBLE!” He started cackling, both at his own joke and at remembering the story.  
  
Thundercracker sighed. “Yes. I figured it probably was.”  
  
“That’s what’s so great about it though!” Still laughing, Skywarp continued to push the datapad at his trinemate. “I’m not going away until you read it.”  
  
A hand came up to bat the offending datapad away. “I’m not reading it. I’ve humored you enough already, and I’m done subjecting myself to them. Why don’t you go pester Starscream with it? Or better yet, Rumble or Frenzy. They actually enjoy that drivel.”  
  
Skywarp shook his head and sighed dramatically. “But I’m already here! It makes so much more sense if you read it, don’t you think?” He snickered at Thundercracker’s expression, which looked like he was suffering from a serious case of tank reflux. _There_ was the reason he always brought his finds to Thundercracker rather than to Starscream. His reactions were so much funnier! And they generally didn’t include the threat of a null-ray to the face…or an _actual_ null-ray to the face. _One time I interrupt him while he’s playing with his chemistry set and it explodes, just one time! You’d think I’d sabotaged him on purpose or something, the way he flipped out!_  
  
Skywarp’s processor neatly glossed over the fact that he had in fact timed his entrance to startle their trine leader into dropping a rack of beakers filled with a series of unstable elements on purpose. They’d been colorful and looked like they’d be fun flying everywhere! He just…hadn’t counted on them being that reactive. Starscream hadn’t been all that interested in his protests that it had been an innocent mistake, and even less interested in reading the story Skywarp had come to recommend. He’d had to raise the datapad to shield his face when Starscream went from shrieking to shooting and chasing him out of the lab, and he’d been very sorry to discover afterward that it hadn’t survived, since he hadn’t bookmarked the fic.  
  
“That’s okay, I’ll find it again someday. Besides, this one’s even better!” Skywarp nodded happily.  
  
“Or read it again yourself, since you seem to be doing just fine _talking_ to yourself,” Thundercracker said flatly, drawing his attention back to the present.  
  
“I’m not talking to myself!” Skywarp shot back. “I’m talking to you, and you need to read the story so we can talk about it together!”  
  
“Skywarp. Please. I’m trying to finish writing something,” Thundercracker said, indicating the datapad on the desktop. “I don’t want to stop and read your stupid fanfic.”  
  
“Uhh, it’s not _my_ fanfic. I didn’t write it, I just found it,” Skywarp said. “You’re the one who’s being stupid.”  
  
Thundercracker hid his face behind his hand. “What will it take for you to go away and let me get this chapter done?”  
  
Skywarp’s wings twitched with interest. “Oooh, a new chapter? I thought you were working on that report for Screamer! You’re working on your story?” Belatedly he realized what day it was, and what hour. Thundercracker _always_ posted on Mondays; not always at the same time, but always before midnight, and there hadn’t been an update yet today. “Wow, you don’t have a lot of time left do you? Why’re you running so behind this week?”  
  
“Really? You're asking that question?” Thundercracker almost growled from behind his fingers. “ _Obviously_ I can’t write with you hovering over me demanding I read that garbage you found!”  
  
“That’s why you aren’t writing _now_. What about earlier in the week?”  
  
Thundercracker’s hand slammed down on the desk, and Skywarp jumped backward, dropping his datapad with a clatter. “Earlier in the week I was doing those reports for Starscream! Mine _and_ yours, since you never finish them on time and I’m tired of us _both_ getting punishment detail for it!”  
  
Skywarp held up his hands defensively. “Woah, hold on, no need to get all mad!” He knelt down to retrieve the datapad, scooping it up swiftly and retreating out of range of Thundercracker’s fists. “Fine, how about a compromise – I’ll wait for you to finish your chapter, and then we can trade bad fanfics! How’s that?”  
  
“…trade bad fanfics.” Thundercracker repeated, voice suddenly devoid of any emotion. Skywarp’s wings twitched nervously.  
  
“Um, yes?” he said hesitantly. “You know, trade. As in, you read what I found and I read what you wrote.”  
  
Thundercracker remained impassive and still as a statue, but Skywarp could hear a low whine beginning to build in his turbines. “What I wrote. The ‘bad fanfic’ I wrote.”  
  
_Whoops. This is starting to feel like the null-ray incident._ Skywarp scrambled, trying to backpedal. “Not _bad_ bad, I don’t mean _bad_ , I just mean bad,” he babbled helpfully. “You know, bad like, bad for comedic effect? Like “My Eternity”?”  
  
The whine’s pitch increased, as did its volume. “Skywarp. I write _satire._ I write _intelligent. PARODY._ It’s a social commentary on Cybertronian and human culture with dry humor designed to draw attention to the irony of our similarities despite our apparent differences. It is _NOT_ a jumble of words so badly strung together even a printout from a random generator would be more enjoyable to read, and have fewer grammatical errors!”  
  
Skywarp pulled up a set of escape coordinates on standby, knowing he shouldn’t say what he was about to say but unable to pass up the opportunity. “Really? Because I’ve read what you have so far, and I can’t follow the plot at all. Your characterizations are flat and clichéd and the relationships and interactions are totally arbitrary. Your author’s note on chapter four was longer than the chapter itself, and chapter five was pretty much one big “Look at me, I’m a plot device!”. But hey, I figured you were doing it on purpose.”  
  
“ON PURPOSE?!” A loud skreel of metal accompanied Thundercracker shoving back from the desk, the chair scraping against the floor as he stood to advance on Skywarp. “Why would I write something in a genre that I can’t even stand reading?!”  
  
“But you do read it!” Skywarp countered, trying to keep his smirk from breaking free and giving him away. “You read all the bad fanfics I bring you! Why would you do that if you don’t like them?”  
  
“Because you won’t. Stop. BOTHERING ME with them!” Thundercracker shouted.  
  
Skywarp lost the battle. With an enormous, slag-eating grin, he shrugged theatrically. “Geez, if that’s how you felt, you should have just said something. I would have left you alone!”  
  
Whatever Thundercracker’s response to that was, Skywarp missed it as he engaged his warp drive and vanished. It probably hadn’t contained many actual words – not polite words, anyway. With a loud *VOP!* he reappeared in the commissary, howling with laughter.  
  
“Hey, what gives? What’s so funny Skywarp, huh?” an uncultured voice interrupted his mirth. Skywarp looked down at Rumble, who looked annoyed at the large seeker for materializing practically on top of him. “C’mon, spill it!”  
  
Unable to stop laughing, Skywarp simply handed over the datapad, pleased that he’d managed to preserve it this time. The cassette’s visor lit up with interest when Rumble read the summary at the top. “Sweeeet,” he said eagerly, hopping up onto an unoccupied chair. Skywarp pulled up next to him and soon they were both grinning and laughing together.


End file.
